in any situation

Paul wrote about being content in any situation about knowing how...I realize that my contentment is completely situational. On top of that sometime I can be discontent just because :( This is not good and needs to change...but I'm not sure how I could be content without success. I feel like a loser and this makes me unhappy. I feel like I've let down everyone including Christ and He is the one who my contentment should ride on. If I feel I've lost my contact or connection with Him how does that continue.
And on that note....why is it so hard for me to continue a relationship with God. That's what we're supposed to do. As a teenager it was natural and joyful and continues. Now it's a constant struggle. From day to day...It's hard and feels almost as if it's a useless struggle...I know that these things aren't the truth...but they are haunting me.